Category: Self-Care

Observing Thoughts and Vibrations

Thoughts.RopeI have been thinking about writing something that would be beneficial and not be the same old stuff we are seeing being posted on social media sites and definitely not what has been broadcasted over the media 24/7.  Yes, we all have been affected in one way or another and to quote a friend of mine, “it doesn’t matter what our specific belief systems are or what philosophy we hold, we have been stirred and fake news and pseudo facts are not helpful.”

Neither is our own “unchecked thinking.” It is too easy to spiral out of control with our thoughts and imagine worst possible scenarios and then start believing in them. Yet I understand… we don’t like ambiguity and some would rather imagine the worst and plan in their heads what they would do in order to feel in control of something versus slowing down for a few weeks in our homes and only go out when we need supplies or services. We want black and white and the truth is… we never really have it. We create our lives, routines and scenarios in our life to feel like we are in control. But life wiggles… we wiggle. And we need to practice useful thinking to guard our hearts and minds in the moments we have. This is the best practice in all time periods, not just the one we are in. But, if you are sinking and unable to stop your thinking and feelings from taking you down a rabbit hole of anxiety, despair, or depression, DO NOT SIT THERE ALONE! Make a call to a friend, a co-worker, a counselor, or someone in your community that can get you connected to others. This is not the time to let yourself be taken down. phone hand setSituations always seem more monstrous when we suffering from fear, depression, or anxiety. If you don’t know who to call, you can call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-HELP (4357). They are there 24/7.

Did you know that mindful thinking raises good vibrations in our body and changes our chemical make up so that we actually are physically different? Breath work and meditation changes our brains and we then we can have a greater state of calm. No, we can’t just be calm like our mom use to say… “calm down!” We have to take an action and slow down, and take deep breaths, and learn other mindfulness technics. Yes, we have to do the work. I would rather do that than spin out with apocalyptic thinking that serves no healthy purpose to my body and mind. It only creates more stress. So take the time to slow down and look online for breathwork practices or meditation exercises. You can control one thing… it is your thoughts and what you choose do with them.

Link to how Breath-work benefits the mind and body: https://chopra.com/articles/how-breathwork-benefits-the-mind-body-and-spirit

I am fortunate to live in an area where I am safe. I am fortunate to have a home and a job which I can work from home in a company that is on top of their game and cares 100% about their employees and customers. Grateful, grateful, grateful! I am fortunate that I have skills and crafts that keep my mind in positive places and that I can talk with others and be of some value to their mental wholeness. Many of us have not practiced mindfulness… which helps to stop the “spinning out” with our thoughts. Many people are affected by this current state of health concerns. Shopping malls are closed, businesses are closed or very restricted. There are lines at grocery stores in the cities and suburbs. We have not been here in this moment of time before and we don’t know what it will look like next week. But we know what it looks like today. If you are reading this, you have a pulse. You have a computer or a device that lets you stay connected. We are a creative people with thoughts that are creative as well. You create your day with your thoughts, with what you watch, with what you say, and with what you believe. I am in no way diminishing that this is hard for most and uncomfortable for many. But please, if you want information, limit it to what is only necessary for you in your area. Reposting stats and news snips that are already in the media could add stress to you and your friends that follow your social media feeds. Ask the question, “Is this helpful?” before you post or repost. Here is what I have kept my finger on:

 

The Media is so hyped right now that they are not telling you the good things that are occurring around the world, i.e., China is back to shopping in malls, children are returning to school, businesses are reopening there, and they are closing the extra emergency hospitals that were opened because they are not needed anymore.

Person Writing Today I Am Grateful For Text On NotebookLook for the good in your moment, right where you are. Look for the good that is happening around you. Focus on the good you would like to see, what you may do once we are over this hump. What are some of the things you are grateful for? Ponder them. Write about them. Who are you grateful for? Call them. Text them a love note. Create a ripple of Good right were you are. You can change your vibration and that good vibration can change other people’s vibrations.

Lastly… we can send positive vibes to others via what I have learned called Metta Meditation also known as Loving Kindness Meditation. Think of those you love who you are separated from. Think of those at your jobs or on the front lines. Think of people in other parts of our world who are also experiencing challenges. Here are some links:

When you don’t know what to do…. Practice this. You will shift your mood and shift your energy thereby changing how you are able to cope better now and in all situations.

Blessings to all…

  • May you be safe
  • May you be at ease
  • May you be healthy
  • And may you be happy

~ Sue

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Defending Observed

GavelI was sharing with my sister this past week that I recently had to turn down two requests from two different friends which were about a week apart. The first request was asked at a time which I did not have my calendar with me nor could I remember what was going on during the date that my presence would been needed. The actual event was going to be fun, but I just didn’t know if I could be present for it. I was asked to think about it and after a couple of days and a review of my schedule, I returned my answer via the written word. I was not able to assist as I was back to back all that week and the next with scheduled activities, trips out of town and guests coming into town. Squeezing something more into my schedule would not be beneficial. I have been aware lately of not practicing self-care which includes saying no when I need to. I made sure I got back to my friend in a timely manner so they could make other arrangements and I wished them well.

The second request came in via text asking if I could assist in allowing someone to stay the night as they were going to be in town late and needed to remain in town through the next day. This was not an emergency and therefore, I needed to say no. There were other situations occurring for which I needed and wanted to take care of and to say yes would have derailed taking care of what I had already promised myself.

Declining the first request was hard because I felt like I needed to defend myself. I felt I needed to list why I was not able to assist. I actually found myself getting angry. I paused and asked my Higher Self… why am I defending me? I am not on trial. What is this defending about? It wasn’t about the person who asked for my assistance, it was about the belief that my reason wasn’t good enough and I had to convince myself that it was, that I was important enough. I didn’t want my friend to be disappointed, but that was not my responsibility either.

The second request was a bit easier as what needed my attention was right in my face when the ask came to me. I was in the midst of person concerns and I needed the freedom and space to continue on with the work. So, I said no without feeling the need to defend my reasons and I also was not in a space to share with my friend what was going on.  My reasons for self-care do not need to be validated by others in order for them to be important to me nor for me to feel accepted. When the time is appropriate, I share what is going on with my close friends. That is what we do. But if my motive to share is to feel their approval and acceptance, then something else is going on, some hidden belief needs to be revealed.

A couple days past by and I was considering this whole topic. I write every morning on www.750words.com to do a brain dump of what needs to be cleared. Sometimes I get an idea for my blog, sometimes just crap comes out and other times… I clear a road block. This was the latter. I learned to defend myself long ago when I was accused in the fourth grade of doing something which I didn’t do. It wasn’t just not being believed as I tried to defend myself, it was the events that followed that day because I was not believed. I was not believed for years and was told that I could not be trusted. I was always being asked why I chose to do this or that and my reasons I gave were not met with approval. I could have always done better or chose differently. From that, I learned to give an account for why I do what I do. I learned to think ahead and think twice before making a decision. I learned to build a defense before I even did anything wrong. I needed to be accepted and trusted. I wanted to be counted on because I learned that was important. I wanted to be important. Ahhhh Haaaa!! As I pressed forward and continued to ask my Higher Self to show me why I was on the defense when I say “no” to someone, the answer was revealed. I didn’t want to be disapproved of any more. I wanted to be counted on even if that meant putting my self-care aside and the big observation was… that 8 year old little girl needed to know that she was believed and loved and trusted.

So after sharing this all with my sister, she gave me a quote with a twist; “If you’re not pissing someone off, you probably aren’t doing self-care.” Meaning, I am not always going to please everyone. I am not always going to say yes and I may not always give a reason as to why I am unable to assist. I am learning more about saying yes to me and finding where I need to put myself first for the sake of my healing journey.

By the way, some of the things I did learn as I was growing up have become valuable tools for living. I learned to think ahead and think twice before making a decision. I learned how to be someone that can be counted on even when it is difficult.

As a side note, as I was looking up the original quote that my sister gave me, I found this interesting read: http://oliveremberton.com/2014/if-youre-not-pissing-someone-off-you-probably-arent-doing-anything-important/

The Defense Rests,

Sue